hear-my-circles-sing:

HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS BOOK?

As she manually adjusted my sprinkler, my inner gardener did a Morris dance of delight.

From that first encounter I was hooked- I just couldn’t get enough of sheds and mowers. Or S&M for short.

"No," she sighed, gazing at the large stuffed crust Hawaiian with extra cheese, "I said was was turned on by orders from dominants.”

We tried various positions- round the back, on the side, up against a wall… but in the end we came to the conclusion that the bottom of the garden was the only place for a really good shed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked. When I’m done you won’t be able to sit down for weeks."
 She nodded.
"Okay," I said, putting the the piece suite on eBay.

I HAVE SO MANY MORE

(via ninjapugwug)

“She wanted to try phone sex so I pretended to be an IT support guy. It turned her on. Then it turned her off. Then it turned her on again.”
— (via matthewcroan)

(via ninjapugwug)

madehimsaycomfychairs:

atelierevzimus:

continueplease:

konoto:

whatthefawxblogs:

dek-says-so:

cute-bird-dad:

cauda-pavonis:

pronouncedlab-eth:

lcheeseboy:

I was volunteering at a booksale when I ran across this and just…

Submitted to me by mrsrhettbutler

uh…those arms…you’re all thinking that, right…?

i feel like we’re all just kind of reblogging it in a circle and looking at each other uneasily like, waiting for someone to finally give in and yell it out in the reply chain

ROBO-DILDO.

you held out as long as you could, i’m sure.

Dildobot

Edward Dildo-arms

DOMO ARIGATO FISTO ROBOTO

I SPAT OUT MY WATER ON THE LAST COMMENT FUCK

(via ninjapugwug)

hellotailor:

Interesting, why do you consider harry potter is a dystopia?

I find it impossible to think of Harry Potter as anything BUT a dystopia. Even Hogwarts itself is a…

wholockedcumberwumber:

i-m-a-weird-person:

nishlo:

nishlo:

nudists don’t have pockets

image

image

the gif is pure win. will reblog just for captain jack physically pulling his sonic blaster out of his ass

(via searchbeauty)

“Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there’ll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?”
— Terry Pratchett, “Lords and Ladies” (via ooksaidthelibrarian)

(via ooksaidthelibrarian)

infamousindigochild:

harleyhendrix:

I watched this for like 20 minutes

It feels like I’m watching the birth of a demon

infamousindigochild:

harleyhendrix:

I watched this for like 20 minutes

It feels like I’m watching the birth of a demon

(via searchbeauty)

haiine:

Merde is a text-based decision game created with Twine I’ve been working on recently and have decided it’s ready to be open to the public. 

You play as a nameless, genderless, faceless character who is sent to go grocery shopping for Master. Each choice brings you closer to a different ending where you can discover more about your own past and the relationship between you and Master, who definitely isn’t what he seems. There are three other characters in the story that you can meet, each bringing you a step closer to the truth. Or death.

A lot of aspects of the game are left up to your imagination, most regarding character’s looks and parts of their personality. The game more focuses on you, the protagonist, and how you react to learning the truth about Master and yourself. The rest is for you to decide.

There are nine endings: 1 good, 7 bad, and 1 true end. It is best to try to get all the endings (there isn’t really an order) because they all tie into each other and give insight to the overall story. You can play here!

(via doctordangerous)

xekstrin:

not-cooper:

My mom tried to grow a lemon tree here in rainy Washington state.

im laughing so hard im crying over this tiny ass lemon

(via shouldnt)